May 31st, 2008 (11:00 pm)
current mood: sad
I just came back home from my Grandpa's funeral in North Bay. It was a really nice service, lots of people cracking jokes and telling good stories about how great Grandpa was. My cousin Peter wrote a really beautiful poem about Grandpa and it was so hard for Pete to read it but he got through it and it was beautiful. It was really hard for everyone, my brother took it really hard, and when he get upset, I get really upset. I think the hardest part was going to the cemetery and watching them place the casket on its final resting place, it was a beautiful place, lots of trees and you could see the lake from his plot. I can see why he would want to be buried there. I really miss him a lot and its still sinking in that he's really gone, its been like a bad dream, it doesn't feel real. He was supposed to live until the leafs won the stanley cup, he was supposed to live forever, its not fair that he's gone. I know it was his time to go and he didn't have to go through and more pain, but it still hurts really bad.
We call him Grandpa Hockey, because both of my Grandpa's, my dad's dad, and my mom's dad are named William or Bill, so we needed a way to identify them from one another, yes I know they look different and are from different size but if you said 'Grandpa Bill' we'd ask 'Which one?'. So one day mom said we were going to see Grandpa and we asked which one and she said the Grandpa at the hockey rink, and from that moment on, we, my brother, sister and I, called him Grandpa Hockey, and Grandma is Grandma Hockey. My dad's dad, is Grandpa Horsey because he owned race horses, his wife Joyce, did not want to be called Grandma Horsey (hehe) so we called her Grandma Joyce. So Grandpa and Grandma Hockey are my mom's parents, and its because Grandpa loved hockey, he played, he coached and he was a die hard leafs fan as you can see from my previous paragraph. We really miss him.
Mom hasn't been taking it well, every time she went to the casket she lost it, it was really hard on my cousin Geoff, Pete's older brother. Geoff ( I call him and Pete my uncles even though they are realyl cousins) is 42 almost 43 years old, so he has known Grandpa for almost 43 years, I couldn't even start to imagine how hard it must have been for him, and Pete is 40 so he's known Grandpa just as long, Geoff had a wonderful speech too, he only got through half of it because he was hurting so bad.
Grandma has been really strong, I haven't seen her cry, but I think its because she feels that she needs to hold it together for the family. She is so strong, I wish I could be strong like her but I know deep down that I'd never be able to handle losing my loved one, my husband of almost 64 years. Yeah, Grandma and Grandpa would have been married 64 years this September. He was such a great man, I can't believe how much I miss him. I miss his smell, I miss his voice, I miss his stories and I miss everything about him. He was everything to me, he was my father when my dad wasn't physically with me, he was my brother when my brother wasn't there, he was my confidant when I needed him to be, and most of all he was my best friend.
I miss you Grandpa. You will always and forever be, my Grandpa Hockey.
May 28th 1926-May 27th 2008